[ Regis meets Auron's gaze for a moment, then reaches within, in the ways that have become familiar to him here and into his stores of emotional energy. Shapes a familiar manifestation just so, and, suddenly, each snowflake is glittering more, as though there is a light source beneath the clouds causing the snow. ]
Some people take their grief and turn it into beauty. Some... [ Electricity arcs among snowflakes, too small to be dangerous, but suggestive enough. ] Some turn it into violence. Others yet push it aside and keep going, for there are others depending on them, until it drowns them - for loss is true pain, albeit invisible to the eye.
There is no one right way to deal with loss, my friend. No good way, for loss takes away something good from us each time, somehow.
But you are trying. You see more than the pain and the void, left by those no longer by your side. That is, I believe, a very reasonable start.
Would you like to tell me about them? Your friends, Brasca and Jecht, or Shinji. Whoever is closest to your mind.
[Auron goes completely silent, his single eye wide with what can only be described as wonder at how a thing of sadness is transformed into something so beautiful.
He takes one deep breath and exhales, relaxing and letting that sadness ebb away. He gives Regis' hand one more pat on his shoulder before letting go.]
Yeah. I'd like that.
[He starts talking. Slow at first but then filling in more details as he keeps going.
Braska started their pilgrimage by deciding to become a summoner. It took a particular kind of strength to take the path, knowing that success meant your demise. His desire to have a chance to end Sin was even greater than parenting 7 year old Yuna. However, having married someone out of the Church, an al Bhed, he was shunned from a lot of contacts who would be his Guardians.
So he found out about Auron, who had been in some disgrace after refusing a position of power that he felt he hadn't earned and a political marriage that hadn't been welcome. There was kinship there and respect that formed from the start.
And then there was Jecht. Brash, rude, drunk a lot, supposedly from the ruined city of Zanarkand. Except he had so many stories that you began to wonder if he was, in fact, telling the truth. He had a lot of demons that he'd never faced in his life that came to the forefront of their journey.
Perhaps that's why, these three separate men, lonely in their own ways, bonded so closely as they took the long road on their pilgrimage, one step at a time. And perhaps that's also why when they got to the end of the journey, when Sin was fought defeated and Auron discovered that there wasn't a way at the time to truly defeat Sin that he reacted so violently to the truth.
Perhaps it's also why, as he keeps talking, that he'd managed enough strength to make sure Yuna had someone to look after her and take her to safety. Why he could not let their deaths be in vain and for Jecht's son to not have anyone to look after. Why he used the loophole unique to Spira and died...but stayed.]
[ They walk, and Auron speaks, and Regis listens, and the snow falls around them, lightly, peacefully. The words. They make so much about Auron make sense - the need to protect, the physical readiness, the way he is on edge about losing people, and uncertain, almost shy, about his wisdom and maturity being sought after. The confidence about giving advice when he does think it necessary.
And while the words flow and the upset is under control, it still feels to Regis as though Auron is fraying.
He remembers what Auron told him, about the promise he made - including to Regis himself - yet it seems to him that there is very little for Auron to be blamed with.
Still... still.
When Auron's words trail off, Regis pauses his step, looking over. His voice is quiet and soft, but very, very steady. ]
Auron. May I embrace you?
[ There are times when heat of the moment, a hug would just. Happen. Supportive and friendly and right, the way Auron himself held him not that long ago. But Auron has gathered himself in, even while he's pouring so much of his heart and soul out, and Regis is afraid that, should he attempt it without warning - without permission - it would not be taken well. ]
[Auron will always have a different view of the situation, always blaming himself for being unable to stop them and not trying hard enough. However, the ferocity of that guilt had greatly diminished in his time here.
He is honestly surprised by the request but appreciative.]
It's kind of strange. When I became Unsent, it's like getting honed into to finest and strongest you can possibly be. At the same time, everything that is not your promise, your hook for staying in Spira, isn't important anymore.
When I first got here, alive again after 10 years and more, it felt strange for people to want to be physically close to you. But...I think I'm remembering how important it actually is. So yeah. I'd like that.
[ He steps closer and, congratulations, Auron, you get treated to a proper Regis hug - and the fact that Auron isn't smaller than him doesn't get in the way at all. After all, he's held Cor and Clarus, both of them taller than him. It is a warm hug, and tight, and comfortable. ]
As is what I'll say, too.
You did not do ought that is wrong. What you did, you had to do, and it needed to be done. And you made difficult choices, and I know you look back and consider what you should have done differently.
But those sound like forces in power for a very long time, Auron. When the hammer falls on their anvil, all we can do is give our best - and you did so.
You did well.
[ If he knew the ending of that story, he'd have added, You made it possible for others to make different choices and reach different outcomes. But... perhaps this will be enough, and he means it so completely.
Perhaps Regis would have acted differently under the circumstances. Maybe he would not have. But he can see no fault with what Auron did, and that is enough. ]
[He hadn't expected the words. Not in the least. Yes, he'd been told it wasn't his fault, he shouldn't be responsible. Shouldn't feel guilty. But he did and he always would.
What no one had ever told him, not all this time is to judge him worthy of all that he DID actually accomplish. Had he done enough? If he'd actually gone to the Farplane as he should have, Braska and Jecht, no doubt, would have been able to tell him the same.
But they weren't with him. He had to find an answer he didn't realize he needed so badly and find it in the arms of one of closest friends he had here. Even as his heart does a curious skip to its beat, Auron holds on to Regis just as tightly.
He exhales slowly and something twisted and painful inside his heart snaps. The overcast clouds of sadness and snow begin to part. The sun returns and around them, a warm breeze blows, much warmer than the season would allow. The feeling generating these reactions is much denied and much needed relief.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Some people take their grief and turn it into beauty. Some... [ Electricity arcs among snowflakes, too small to be dangerous, but suggestive enough. ] Some turn it into violence. Others yet push it aside and keep going, for there are others depending on them, until it drowns them - for loss is true pain, albeit invisible to the eye.
There is no one right way to deal with loss, my friend. No good way, for loss takes away something good from us each time, somehow.
But you are trying. You see more than the pain and the void, left by those no longer by your side. That is, I believe, a very reasonable start.
Would you like to tell me about them? Your friends, Brasca and Jecht, or Shinji. Whoever is closest to your mind.
no subject
He takes one deep breath and exhales, relaxing and letting that sadness ebb away. He gives Regis' hand one more pat on his shoulder before letting go.]
Yeah. I'd like that.
[He starts talking. Slow at first but then filling in more details as he keeps going.
Braska started their pilgrimage by deciding to become a summoner. It took a particular kind of strength to take the path, knowing that success meant your demise. His desire to have a chance to end Sin was even greater than parenting 7 year old Yuna. However, having married someone out of the Church, an al Bhed, he was shunned from a lot of contacts who would be his Guardians.
So he found out about Auron, who had been in some disgrace after refusing a position of power that he felt he hadn't earned and a political marriage that hadn't been welcome. There was kinship there and respect that formed from the start.
And then there was Jecht. Brash, rude, drunk a lot, supposedly from the ruined city of Zanarkand. Except he had so many stories that you began to wonder if he was, in fact, telling the truth. He had a lot of demons that he'd never faced in his life that came to the forefront of their journey.
Perhaps that's why, these three separate men, lonely in their own ways, bonded so closely as they took the long road on their pilgrimage, one step at a time. And perhaps that's also why when they got to the end of the journey, when Sin was fought defeated and Auron discovered that there wasn't a way at the time to truly defeat Sin that he reacted so violently to the truth.
Perhaps it's also why, as he keeps talking, that he'd managed enough strength to make sure Yuna had someone to look after her and take her to safety. Why he could not let their deaths be in vain and for Jecht's son to not have anyone to look after. Why he used the loophole unique to Spira and died...but stayed.]
no subject
And while the words flow and the upset is under control, it still feels to Regis as though Auron is fraying.
He remembers what Auron told him, about the promise he made - including to Regis himself - yet it seems to him that there is very little for Auron to be blamed with.
Still... still.
When Auron's words trail off, Regis pauses his step, looking over. His voice is quiet and soft, but very, very steady. ]
Auron. May I embrace you?
[ There are times when heat of the moment, a hug would just. Happen. Supportive and friendly and right, the way Auron himself held him not that long ago. But Auron has gathered himself in, even while he's pouring so much of his heart and soul out, and Regis is afraid that, should he attempt it without warning - without permission - it would not be taken well. ]
no subject
He is honestly surprised by the request but appreciative.]
It's kind of strange. When I became Unsent, it's like getting honed into to finest and strongest you can possibly be. At the same time, everything that is not your promise, your hook for staying in Spira, isn't important anymore.
When I first got here, alive again after 10 years and more, it felt strange for people to want to be physically close to you. But...I think I'm remembering how important it actually is. So yeah. I'd like that.
no subject
[ He steps closer and, congratulations, Auron, you get treated to a proper Regis hug - and the fact that Auron isn't smaller than him doesn't get in the way at all. After all, he's held Cor and Clarus, both of them taller than him. It is a warm hug, and tight, and comfortable. ]
As is what I'll say, too.
You did not do ought that is wrong. What you did, you had to do, and it needed to be done. And you made difficult choices, and I know you look back and consider what you should have done differently.
But those sound like forces in power for a very long time, Auron. When the hammer falls on their anvil, all we can do is give our best - and you did so.
You did well.
[ If he knew the ending of that story, he'd have added, You made it possible for others to make different choices and reach different outcomes. But... perhaps this will be enough, and he means it so completely.
Perhaps Regis would have acted differently under the circumstances. Maybe he would not have. But he can see no fault with what Auron did, and that is enough. ]
no subject
What no one had ever told him, not all this time is to judge him worthy of all that he DID actually accomplish. Had he done enough? If he'd actually gone to the Farplane as he should have, Braska and Jecht, no doubt, would have been able to tell him the same.
But they weren't with him. He had to find an answer he didn't realize he needed so badly and find it in the arms of one of closest friends he had here. Even as his heart does a curious skip to its beat, Auron holds on to Regis just as tightly.
He exhales slowly and something twisted and painful inside his heart snaps. The overcast clouds of sadness and snow begin to part. The sun returns and around them, a warm breeze blows, much warmer than the season would allow. The feeling generating these reactions is much denied and much needed relief.]