[Hearing the way his dad breathes the faint tremble of his voice, Noctis just stays where he is, clinging and saying nothing for a time. Finding the words to convey what he wants to is difficult, but he hopes that his dad understands anyway. He means this to be a comfort to Regis, but it's a comfort to Noctis as well - something he wishes he could have done back then. But hindsight is, as always, 20/20.
Eventually, though, some words do manage to come.]
I ... should have realized you were saying goodbye...
[There is a part of him that is still upset about everything Regis never told him... and yet at the same time, Noctis feels so stupid for having missed certain obvious signs. For having not pushed for more time or for his dad to talk about the things both of them went out of their way to avoid.]
[ It is a comfort to Regis. He's wanted them to stay like this, always. But there had always been so much else, and the long, sharp thorn in his heart, and - it is good. It really is. The wrinkled fingers go up to slide gently over the back of Noct's hair, too, not messing up the shape but caressing, all the same. ]
Mm. It would have made that dawn easier for me and harder for you. It was a price I was willing to pay.
[ He didn't pretend that it wasn't goodbye. He merely didn't make it obvious. ]
That morning... I wished that I could go with you. [ More than Noctis having acted differently. More than anything that was even further away from the realm of possibility. ] Slide into the Regalia. Be able to watch what should have been possible to happen, if...
Seen you happy.
[ But that would have meant leaving so many responsibilities behind, and those. Those had always mattered more than what he wished, when the two were in conflict. Regis sides, and turns his face to kiss Noct's temple. ]
But watching you do things as you would do them, rather than I would, that was the next best thing. [ Not necessarily as Noct wanted. But Noct's way, anyway. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Eventually, though, some words do manage to come.]
I ... should have realized you were saying goodbye...
[There is a part of him that is still upset about everything Regis never told him... and yet at the same time, Noctis feels so stupid for having missed certain obvious signs. For having not pushed for more time or for his dad to talk about the things both of them went out of their way to avoid.]
no subject
Mm. It would have made that dawn easier for me and harder for you. It was a price I was willing to pay.
[ He didn't pretend that it wasn't goodbye. He merely didn't make it obvious. ]
That morning... I wished that I could go with you. [ More than Noctis having acted differently. More than anything that was even further away from the realm of possibility. ] Slide into the Regalia. Be able to watch what should have been possible to happen, if...
Seen you happy.
[ But that would have meant leaving so many responsibilities behind, and those. Those had always mattered more than what he wished, when the two were in conflict. Regis sides, and turns his face to kiss Noct's temple. ]
But watching you do things as you would do them, rather than I would, that was the next best thing. [ Not necessarily as Noct wanted. But Noct's way, anyway. ]